Chinese Women Challenge Traditional Values
Written by Wang Fangqing Friday, February 25 2011
Snapshot: Wu Di
SHANGHAI, China -- Wu Di is a Shanghai-based registered relationship therapist, an employee assistant program consultant, and a media veteran in China’s fashion industry.
While China's aggressive development has impressed the world, Wu points out its side effect -- more and more Chinese, especially among the younger generation, are struggling between old Chinese values and the new values demanded by the soaring economy.
Wu is best known for her relationship column “Ask Wu Di,” which started a decade ago initially for the Chinese version of ELLE magazine. The column quickly became popular among educated young urban Chinese females mainly because Wu has a funny, unique, straightforward, even sometimes harsh, tone to point out the problems, and she often challenges traditional Chinese values.
In 2006, Wu moved her column to her blog at sina.com, China’s leading portal site. With more than 36,000 fans online, she gets many questions every day from people all round the country, asking her for advice about issues concerning relationships, family, and career.
In January, Wu quit her full-time job as an executive editor at a lifestyle magazine and set up her own studio to further pursue her career as a therapist through consulting, writing, and appearing on TV shows.
Wu, 42, holds her bachelor’s in international journalism from Xiamen University and her master's in business management from University of Houston.
Womenetics: Why are you interested in psychology?
Wu Di: The trigger was my column “Ask Wu Di” for ELLE China in the late 1990s, when I also served as an associate editor at the magazine. I wasn't a therapist by then, but I was so interested in sharing my values, experiences, and ideas with the readers and was thrilled with the popularity of the column. In 2003, I signed up to take courses to become a national registered psychological therapist, a program promoted by the Chinese government, and got my license the next year.
Womenetics: You said that in China, the progress of values lags far behind the development of the economy, and it has caused a lot of problems. What does that mean?
Wu: One typical example is the Chinese value of the equality between men and women, which is almost the same as a century ago, as a lot of Chinese women – including some successful businesswomen – still prefer financially or emotionally relying on their men.
A growing number of my clients are young wives suffering from lacking communications with their husbands, who are often busy businessmen. Ironically, what they complain about is exactly what they were then seeking from an ideal husband – hard-working and affluent. Now they want communication.
The reason is, unlike in the Western countries, where women have been spontaneously fighting for their rights for generations, Chinese women were assigned to work with men by the government after 1949 when the communists took over the control of mainland China. Therefore, women’s rights have no roots in China.
Womenetics: Is it hard to make a living as a therapist in China? How do the Chinese perceive this job?
Wu: Frankly speaking, I doubt I can survive by working as a full-time therapist, whose average charge ranges only from 300 yuan ($45) to 600 yuan ($61) per hour. Even at such a low rate, most Chinese still prefer using the money for shopping, because what they are looking for are immediate solutions instead of introspection and self-growth.
The Chinese in general are getting more and more familiar with psychology in recent years. At least they no longer think people seeing therapists or psychologists are lunatics. But, since psychology did not originate in China, it will take a long time for the Chinese to value its importance as much as Westerners do.
Womenetics: As a career woman and a mother, what do you want to say to the professional women who are struggling between giving birth and worrying about their jobs?
Wu: Whether or not to be a mother is a tough decision because a lot of sacrifices are required to have kids.
I had my twins at 36 through artificial insemination. My husband and I have never regretted the decision. For me, 36 is the right timing to give birth in terms of mental maturity and financial stability.
Womenetics: What’s your hobby?
Wu: I love Latin dances and yoga. Latin dances even inspired me at work. For example, to achieve an amazing performance, the female dancer has to be as excellent as her partner. There are some impressive poses showing the female dancer seems to be leaning on the man, but in fact she is using her own strength. Based on this, I created a course of intimate relationship, targeting self-oriented successful career women who have difficulties in interacting with men. The point is, a woman doesn’t have to be aggressive to show how powerful she is.
Wang Fangqing (Frances Wang) is a freelance reporter based in Shanghai. For the past four years, she has been writing for a variety of English language publications, including Tobacco Journal International, Soap Perfumery & Cosmetics and Securities Industry News, reporting business trends in Asia. A Chinese native speaker, she is also fluent in Japanese and English.
