Forget Balance: What About Me?

Written by Mary Welch Sunday, November 01 2009

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"If I didn't take time for just me," says, Atlanta businesswoman Lisa Turner, "well, my head would explode."

Turner, mother of five daughters and president of Angler Construction Co. in Decatur, Ga., says she has found solace in just saying no.

"I seem outgoing but really I'm shy, and I have to talk to people all day," she says. "It's exhausting and it takes away from me being really productive."

Turner has learned to turn down even invitations that she might enjoy. "That's the hardest part. But my friends, my husband, and my children, especially since they're older, all know that I really need to be alone," she says. "They all see how much I do at work, at home, and in the community so they'll cut me some slack. I do enjoy entertaining, to me that's relaxing. But I just need to shut down at times. I just want to watch television - and not new shows. That takes too much thinking. I watch re-runs."

A spring 2009 survey of 605 U.S. workers by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 70 percent of employees work beyond scheduled time and on weekends; more than half blame "self-imposed pressure." Add on to the extra work hours taking care of a household, children, and possibly parents, and it's easy to see that there is little time for women to take a breath, much less pursue a hobby or have some downtime.

But it is that downtime that will make you successful, says Jodie Charlop, CEO of Potential Matters, a coaching firm with offices in Atlanta and San Francisco. Her company helps business professionals evolve their careers as well as their professional and personal lives.

"Women, especially because they multitask so much better than men, need to work on 'me time' before they burn out," she says. "There are many women who think they are taking charge of their careers or that they are being so efficient by doing so much but, in fact, it's an illusion. They are doing a lot of things at work but they're not being promoted. Why? Because they're not taking the time to see the bigger picture."

So how do successful women find - or make - personal time?

Charlop says that "me time" is so critical that women should schedule it. "If I look at my 500-plus clients, I would say that women have a harder time setting boundaries than men. They don't have the quiet time. It's so essential to have that in order to rejuvenate your creative energies. Women must find ways. I have time with my husband, time with my family, and me time. Women have too much stress and they have to take responsibility to deal with it. They have to do what it takes to get them into a reflective state."

Penelope Cheroff, president and founder of The Cheroff Group, a full-service Atlanta brokerage and consulting firm that specializes in local restaurant and retail real estate, has learned the value of a 9 to 5 schedule.

"I only work 40 hours a week," she says. "I work out of the house. I go to my office at 9 and my assistant comes, and we leave at 6. Sometimes 6:30. I started in restaurant retail where you're working 12 hours a day seven days a week, and I specifically left because I didn't want to work those hours. I wanted a life."

She then went into commercial real estate where she maintained more corporate hours. "I had a small child and your life becomes organized around his schedule. I mean the day care closes at 6 so you have to be there. And, I wanted that time with him. I needed a job that was 9 to 5."