Plea for Help Generates Avalanche of Kindness
Written by Mary Welch Tuesday, December 29 2009
Stevie Casteel says that all she did was send out an email.
In fact, what she did was save a family.
Just before Thanksgiving, Casteel, a partner with King & Spalding, an Atlanta law firm, received an email from the woman who had been her administrative assistant when they both worked at Bank of America.
The woman, Tijuana Dill, had been in an emotionally abusive relationship and left her husband, taking two of her three children with her. The youngest child stayed with the father.
“There was a lot going on in her life,” Casteel says. “Tijuana was an entrepreneur, sort of a virtual office administrative assistant, but that dried up. Her house was foreclosed on. She would put a deposit on a place to live, but lost her deposit when she couldn’t pay the rent. All her possessions were in one of those space rental places. She couldn’t pay that so she lost everything she owned. She had no job, no home, no clothes, no pots and pans – nothing.”
What Tijuana did have was Casteel’s email address.
“She told me she had nowhere else to turn,” Casteel remembers. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t have thousands in the bank to give to her. So I sent out an email to my friends. I really was hoping people would be able to give advice about where she could go for social services.”
Casteel couldn’t believe the response.
“The first day I spent literally four hours opening emails and forwarding them to Tijuana and maybe three hours the next day. Tijuana would walk to her kids’ school and use the computer. It is amazing.”
Within hours, several people offered to help Tijuana get housing. One offered a home in Dunwoody rent-free; another offered to have the family move into her house with her – without ever meeting Tijuana. Another met with Tijuana and helped her with her résumé and interview skills. Several sent bags and bags of clothing ‒ coats, suits, robes, hats, cashmere, fleece, shoes. Another donated a briefcase and purse. Cash and gift cards came by the dozens. One offered to do her hair; another helped her apply for a makeover being given by Carter Barnes, an Atlanta hair salon. Oracle decided to sponsor the family for Christmas.
Yet another referred Tijuana to a nonprofit that is finding her a job. Several sent links for specific job openings, and she has applied for them all.
Tijuana has been very responsive to the messages forwarded to her, and she has followed up on every single suggestion and contact.
“She is not a victim, but someone who takes ownership of her situation and has the enthusiasm and energy to help herself,” Casteel says. “She told me she just made some bad choices in men; but haven’t we all? She has repeatedly said she won't disappoint me and the others who have helped her. I have spent several hours with T over the last week, and I was reminded how smart she is, how positive, how well-spoken, how ‘together.’ She hit some bad luck, but she is someone and who helps herself, not just someone who will take and just be back in the same situation in a month.”
Since Casteel’s email, the family has moved into a home with very low rent near the subway line and within walking distance from the school her two youngest attend. Her middle child recently received the “Student of the Year” award at her school, and her eldest daughter will be starting early college at Georgia State University in the 11th grade. Her youngest is back with her.
Although she is still busy trying to get a job and following up on leads, Tijuana says she is “completely overwhelmed with joy and gladly bombarded with many tasks to complete.”
As for Casteel, she is equally overwhelmed.
“I felt so helpless when I spoke with T on Thanksgiving Day, and I sent my plea expecting very little. The response shows the power of our networks and proves again to me that if women ruled the world, we'd get it all figured out. Many of the people who responded weren’t friends of mine. They were people who received emails that my friends forwarded.”
Casteel believes that people want to help but says, “They really like it when there is a name attached instead of just writing a check. So many have made a difference in the lives of T and her family. And on this very cold day, they are safe and warm. “
Mary Welch is Atlanta city editor of Womenetics: and a freelance writer for the Atlanta Journal Constitution, Dawson Times, Plan Your Meeting magazine, and Atlanta Business magazine. She was editor-in-chief of Atlanta Woman magazine and editor of Business to Business and Catalyst magazines.
