Helping Kids Navigate Tough Times
Written by Katrina Daniel Thursday, June 09 2011
Snapshot: Suzy Yehl Marta
The news is full of tragedies, tsunamis, bitter divorces, custody battles, mass shootings, terminal illnesses, earthquakes, and the list goes on. But what happens to the children in all those situations?
After the lights go out, the cameras shut down, and the reporters leave; after the Tweeters have moved onto something new, what happens to the children who have experienced life-changing losses?
Who or what is there to explain to children, to help them move on to a better part of their lives?
Answer: Suzy Yehl Marta and her organization, Rainbows For All Children.
Yehl Marta started small, wanting to soothe her own sons after her divorce. Then she realized that other kids needed help as much as her boys did. Now, Rainbows For All Children is a worldwide organization dedicated to helping children and teenagers cope with life-changing loss, be it death, disaster, divorce, or destruction.
Yehl Marta lives in the metro-Chicago area with her husband. She is the mother of three grown sons and three stepchildren, and she is the grandmother of seven.
She is also the author of Healing the Hurt, Restoring the Hope, a book which helps parents and caregivers guide youth through times of divorce, death, or crisis.
Womenetics: What exactly does Rainbows For All Children provide for kids?
Suzy Yehl Marta: Rainbows is an international not-for-profit organization that helps teens and children grieve and grow after loss. Rainbows offers training and curricula to establish peer support groups in schools, faith communities, hospitals, and social service agencies at no cost to the participants and their families. These support groups provide grieving children with an opportunity to deal with and resolve their feelings in an accepting environment.
Womenetics: What inspired you to found Rainbows?
Yehl Marta: It began with my own sons sharing their pain and confusion of (my) divorce. They asked if they could talk with “other divorced kids.” 
I realized my three young boys were hurting. I searched for the type of support that I was receiving as an adult. There was no place accessible for them to talk about what they were feeling. Certainly there was therapy available, which I tried. At the end of each counseling session, I was advised not to return. The therapist said they were fine just adjusting to their loss. But he never told them how to do it.
What I later learned was they (my sons) were grieving the death of their nuclear family. In addition, my sons needed to be with other children their age going through the same experiences so they could understand their feelings.
Working with other concerned single parents, I began organizing retreats for children in single parent and stepfamily homes. In three years, more than 800 youths benefited from the retreats. I was compelled to do more.
So I began working on the formal curriculum – the foundation of Rainbows. It also became obvious from talking with the kids who participated in the retreats that this type of support needed to be brought to where the kids were living, rather than asking them to attend a weekend retreat with strangers far from their homes.
In 1983, three Chicago area private schools piloted the Rainbows curriculum. By the fifth week, 11 more schools called, wanting the program for their students. So I then gave up the security of my three jobs to do something I knew in my heart had to be done for our youth who were grieving a life-changing loss.
I established Rainbows For All Children, now the world’s largest not-for-profit organization dedicated solely to helping families cope with loss. Since then Rainbows has served more than 2.5 million youths throughout the United States and in 17 other countries.
Womenetics: Do you have counselors? How do they communicate with children? How does it work?
Yehl Marta: Each community partner (school, faith, community, or agency) chooses their volunteers who will become the Rainbows facilitators for small grief support groups These candidates could be social workers, teachers, ministers, or agency staff. Each facilitator candidate must participate in a Rainbows training session to understand our philosophy and methodology. During this training, they learn how to be compassionate companions and active, supportive listeners with their group. Additionally they receive their kit of age-appropriate Rainbows materials. There is a teacher guide for the facilitator. The kids receive a journal, and there are games, activities that will be used during their weekly meetings.
Womenetics: What is the biggest setback you have personally encountered and how did you cope with it?
Yehl Marta: While growing up, I dreamed of being a wife and mother and creating a family like the one I happily grew up in. I never considered the possibility of divorce and was devastated when my marriage ended. There were no signposts for me on how to cope, act, or rebuild. I felt like Humpty Dumpty who had fallen and had no idea of how or who could put me together again.
I began my “new” life as the sole support of three youngsters – no car, no job, no home. All of the marital bills were now my responsibility, and I was grieving the end of my marriage.
First my commitment was to survive and then to thrive. I made the decision that I was going to become better because of what happened, not bitter. So this journey began with me taking care of my emotions and establishing a home for us where we could all thrive, heal, and grow strong.
Katrina Daniel is an award-winning journalist and broadcast reporter/anchor. She has worked in Miami, Los Angeles, New York, and as a national correspondent for several networks. She commutes between Miami and the Carolinas, writing for magazines and news organizations. She lives with one horse, four dogs, and a cat.
